31 Days of Horror Movies - From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

From Dusk Till Dawn [1996] is a Quentin Tarantino film directed by Robert Rodriguez.  The first Tarantino movie I saw was Pulp Fiction [1994].  Soon after I saw Reservoir Dogs [1992] and Four Rooms [1995], so when this came out in 1996 I thought “I’ll bite” [no pun intended].  It has about a thousand vampires in it, which makes it a horror movie in name.  But there isn’t any real “horror” [I use that term loosely - this movie isn’t scary] - it’s a black comedy.  At least Tarantino didn’t ram the word “nigger” down our throats like he usually does.

The plot - two brothers, Seth [George Clooney] and Richie Gecko [Quentin Tarantino] are bank robbers.  After robbing a bank in Texas, they take one of the tellers hostage and head for Mexico.  They stopped at a liquor store, killed a cop and the cashier, and burned the place to the ground.  Then they stopped at a motel, and Seth went out to buy food.  While Seth was away, Richie raped and killed the teller.  In need of a new hostage, along comes preacher Jacob Fuller [Harvey Keitel] and his two kids Kate [Juliette Lewis] and Scott [Ernest Liu].  The Geckos kidnap the Fullers, commandeer their motorhome and head to Mexico.  The plan is to travel to an all-night strip bar called the Titty Twister, where they’re supposed to meet a guy named Carlos at dawn.

After Seth and Richie beat the crap out of the doorman Chet Pussy [Cheech Marin], this gang of five gains entrance to the Titty Twister.  But the bartender [Danny Trejo] only serves bikers and truckers.  Jacob convinces the bartender that because he has a license to drive an RV, he is a trucker.  The bartender relents and serves them.  Seth just wants to get shitfaced until Carlos shows up.  He teaches Kate how to drink tequila the correct way.  Jacob drinks with Seth.  Then, a show begins, starring Santánico Pandemónium.  Shortly after the show begins, chaos ensues [see Whoa! Moment #2 below].  With the help of other bar patrons named Frost and Sex Machine, Seth Gecko and the Fullers wage an epic battle for survival.  When dawn finally comes, Seth and Kate Fuller are the only survivors.  At the end, we see the Titty Twister actually sits on an Aztec ruin, behind of which are the remains of cars, bikes, trucks, etc. of victims past. 

Joe Bob Briggs rating - This movie doesn’t get a Joe Bob Briggs rating.  There is too much vampire-fu going on to count the number of dead bodies or gallons of blood spilled. 

Whoa! Moments

Whoa! Moment #1 - This is more like an Ewwww! Moment, and it has nothing to do with vampires or blood or anything.  Richie Gecko asked Kate Fuller “would you do me a favor?”  Richie didn’t really ask Kate anything, but he imagined asking her if he could perform cunnilingus on her.  The thought of an ugly f**k like Tarantino going down on anyone is enough to make your colon clench.

Whoa! Moment #2 - Seeing Santánico Pandemónium [Salma Hayek] in a bikini and a Burmese python.  ‘Nuff said…

Whoa! Moment #3 - After Chet Pussy [Cheech Marin] stabs Richie’s hand [already wrapped in duct tape because of a gunshot], it starts to bleed.  When Santánico Pandemónium sees the blood, she turns into a vampire [she’s the first one to reveal herself as such].  She attacks Richie and kills him.  No loss - Richie is a worthless character.

Whoa! Moment #4 - All the mayhem that occurs in the Titty Twister after Santánico Pandemónium killed Richie Gecko.  There’s a lot of it.

Funniest Moment

Chet Pussy’s Speech - Chet Pussy is the Titty Twister’s doorman.  He gives the following spiel to lure customers inside:

All right, pussy, pussy, pussy! Come on in pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy, this is a pussy blow out! All right, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, we got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got smelly pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy, we got snappin' pussy, we got silk pussy, velvet pussy, Naugahyde pussy, we even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy! Come on, you want pussy, come on in, pussy lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it! Come on in, pussy lovers!  Attention pussy shoppers! Take advantage of our penny pussy sale! If you buy one piece of pussy at the regular price, you get another piece of pussy of equal or lesser value for only a penny! Try and beat pussy for a penny! If you can find cheaper pussy anywhere else, fuck it!

George Clooney gets a special mention because of his comeback about being Santánico Pandemónium’s slave in Hell.  His response - he’d already been to Hell - he’s been married before.

The soundtrack.  It has music from ZZ Top, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Jimmie Vaughan, The Blasters, and Tito & Tarantula [they’re the Titty Twister’s house band].  A movie with music like this has got something going for it.  J