31 Days of Horror Movies - Apollo 18 (2011)

Apollo 18 is another horror movie disguised as science fiction [see Event Horizon and Alien].  The story takes place in December 1974.  The Apollo 18 mission was cancelled in real life by Richard Nixon, but in this movie it was resurrected as a super double top secret Department of Defense mission.  The mission was to place sensors on the Moon to monitor Soviet ICBM launches.  After all, it was during the height of the Cold War.  Here’s the kicker - the mission never returned to Earth.  The movie is “recently discovered” footage of what happened during the mission [think “Blair Witch Project”].  The footage showed why the US never returned to the Moon.

Commander Nathan Walker, Lieutenant Colonel John Grey, and Captain Ben Anderson comprised the crew.  Walker and Anderson landed on the Moon while Grey orbited the Moon in the Command Module. Grey was out of the picture for a while.  Weird things started to happen to the two astronauts after they landed on the Moon.  After they planted the missile sensors and collected rocks, a Moon rock sample that the astronauts thought was secured inside the LEM was found lying on the floor.  The flag they planted outside disappeared.  They heard noises outside on the lunar surface.  A camera they left outside captured images of a moon rock that moved.  Why did a rock move?  After the crew went to explore outside the LEM, they discovered footprints that led to a Soviet moon lander. Some of the footprints were human - some of them weren’t.  They also found a dead cosmonaut in a crater near the Soviet spacecraft.

After their mission was completed they attempted to leave and return to the Command Module.  The blast-off aborted because the LEM started shaking badly.  Walker went outside to inspect for damage, and in doing so disappeared from Anderson’s sight.  Walker told Anderson he felt something moving around in his helmet, like it was a spider.   Anderson went outside to look for Walker and found him unconscious.  After they got back into the LEM, Anderson found a wound in Walker’s chest, inside of which a moon rock was embedded.  And by the way, they can’t contact Houston - something is causing interference.  Were the “ICBM sensors” causing the interference?  Were the ICBM sensors at all?  Anderson didn’t think so.  He figured the sensors were put there to track something, but it wasn’t missiles.

Walker started to show signs of an infection, and got a bit paranoid.  He knew there were cameras inside the LEM, and as his paranoia grew he tried to destroy the cameras.  Before they are trashed, the cameras caught the moon rocks on film - moving.  They weren’t rocks - it was disguise.  The rocks were aliens - the “spiders” inside Walker’s helmet.  But when Walker tried to trash the cameras he damaged the life support system - the LEM began to depressurize.  Their only hope of survival was to go back to the Soviet spacecraft.  As they rode the lunar rover toward the Soviet ship, Walker made the rover crash and he ran away.  Anderson caught up to him back at the crater where they found the dead cosmonaut.  But Walker was pulled into the crater and disappears.  Now alone, Anderson made his way to the Soviet ship.

Anderson contacted Soviet mission control.  They patched him to DoD.  The deputy defense secretary told him the folks in Washington knew about his situation, and knowing what they knew they feared Anderson was infected like Walker.  Walker is denied permission to come home.  Anderson is screwed, but he didn’t want to take no for an answer and prepped the Soviet ship for takeoff.  As Anderson made his preparations, Walker “attacked” the ship.  Ok, “attacked” is a bit of a stretch, but he did try to get in the ship.  Before Walker could get in the Soviet ship, he’s attacked by a swarm of “moon rocks,” some of which breach his helmet and kill him.

Anderson figured out how to fly the Soviet ship.  He called up Grey and told him of his plans to rendezvous with him.  What I couldn’t figure out was how one ship was going to dock with the other - they didn’t match, but I digress.  Anderson got the ship to take off, and it even reached escape velocity.  However, at the very moment the Soviet ship achieved escape velocity and the inside of the capsule became a “weightless” environment, lot of “moon rocks” suddenly became spiders and attacked Anderson.  Anderson lost control of the Soviet ship.  It crashed into the Command Module, killing him and Grey - game over.  Roll the credits and show the made-up stories of how each crewmember of Apollo 18 “disappeared.”

Whoa! Moment #1 -   The spiders inside Anderson’s helmet.  I don’t know a living soul who isn’t creeped-out by spiders, whether they’re Earthbound or space creatures.  When I see big spiders I want to burn the house down.  This guy had spiders crawling on his face.  Ew!  But what I want to know is this - how did those spiders get in his helmet in the first place?  Aren’t spacesuits supposed to be airtight?  If there was the tiniest breach in the suit, wouldn’t Walker explode due to depressurization?  So many questions, so little time…

Whoa! Moment #2 -   This one is pretty obvious - more spiders!  Imagine my surprise when the “moon rocks” did a “moonwalk” inside the LEM and turned into spiders.

Whoa! Moment #3 -  Zero gravity turns moon rocks into spiders.  Just when you thought Anderson was going to make a clean getaway, those pesky spiders gang up on him and kill him.

Apollo 18 might just as well be subtitled Arachnophobia in Space.  Chef said it best in Apocalypse Now! - don’t get out of the boat.  Absolutely damn right - but it would be a pretty boring movie if Walker and Anderson stayed in the boat.  If there are all these spiders on the Moon, just think what lies in wait on Mars.